“My mother was an amazing Black Womyn and she’s the reason I am who I am. ”
You were raised in Hartford, Connecticut. How has that shaped you?
Although I was born in Boston, Massachusetts I grew up in Hartford, Connecticut. I have very fond memories of my childhood which was rich with exposure to culture, art, politics and travel. Courtney Ward Gardner was an active community member, teacher and Hartford Board of Education member during my youth. She was very proud to be raising her daughter in Hartford where she too grew up. My mother and I lived in the Virgin Islands for 2 years when I was a toddler. This exposure to the world played a huge role in shaping my view of myself in a global way, culture was integral in forming and sparking inspiration and my imagination.
You are a creative, free spirit. How did your upbringing contribute to that?
I owe my creativity and free spirited nature to my mother. She encouraged me to explore dance, creative writing and art as a form of expression, among many other pursuits. I was free to dress myself how I wanted and try different activities. Being an only child was such an adventure for me. I was able to engage with adults often and tag along to many of the interesting events my mother attended. I was always a very mature child and got lost in my own thoughts and imagination. As a kid I truly enjoyed my own company. When I would “pretend” in my room I’d be the customer, manager, president AND bank teller. I loved filling out the deposit slips that I brought home from trips to the bank with my mother. My mother let me be free to be myself. I’m so thankful about that and it’s how I aim to parent. There were never limitations for me as a kid. My mother always found a way for me to do something if I wanted to, even if she couldn’t afford it.
You have two children and you are no longer married. How has your life changed since your divorce?
The real paradigm shift in my life happened when my mother died in 2008. It was like a universal switch was clicked. A year later I was divorced, although as I remember it was already in the works. My view of myself and my place in the world was immensely impacted by my mother’s death. Since then my life has shifted in so many ways. I like to say that her death caused a Spiritual rebirth of sorts, causing me to do & experience things I never had. In 2013 I manifested my own apartment, got my own life & car insurance, began a new business-Age Into Beauty and set out to cultivate an understanding of Energy(both my own and that of the Universe). It seems so clear to me now that I set out to redefine myself. As my own person. In seeking an understanding of Energy I received certification as a Reiki practitioner and now I offer a multitude of healing services and products to clients from all walks of life. All of these changes brought me to a place of asking the Universe to deliver me a partner whose Energy was Aligned with mine. And in 2016 I was united with my life partner, a remarkable Womyn, Tonia Johnson who relocated to Connecticut from Texas to create a life together here in Hartford. There isn’t a day that I’m not aware how truly blessed I am.
What was happening in your life when your Mother passed away? You and I have discussed what a shift it is, for a daughter when her Mother passes. It is a Rites of Passage. Tell me about how her passing shaped you.
When my mother died I was deep in the throes of married life and playing the “role” of mother. My life was dedicated to being a wife and mother. In many ways I relinquished my dreams to play these roles. I loved married life and being a mom, but it’s true that I lost a piece of me. Spiritually I was asleep then. I’ll never forget the call I received from the San Francisco coroner. I was cooking dinner while the kids played. It was like the world disappeared under my feet. I literally dropped to my knees hearing the news. The world as I knew it completely changed. My mother was my best friend. It was always me and her against the world. So naturally, I haven’t been the same ever since. My mother’s death literally set me free, set me free the the bondage of society’s confinement. I had no reason(or fear) NOT to do, be or have whatever I wanted and I started with how I chose to love myself and be my true authentic unapologetic self. My mother was an amazing Black Womyn and she’s the reason I am who I am.
You have a project in the works, Universal Womb. Tell me about the inspiration for that piece, not just your own individual inspiration but the collective of women that are co-creating with you.
Universal Womb is a non-linear multi-media performance installation set in 9 womb states that tells the reimagined story of my mother’s life. This project was inspired by my mother’s own words and writings(found in journals, date books, post-it notes and grocery lists), the impact she left on me in life and death and the manner in which she died. It feels so weird to try to sum it all up and describe. Let’s just say that I knew very early on that there was power in telling my mother’s story, in truth telling her pain and mine by being completely transparent and free to imagine a new narrative. 6 Womxn Of Color including myself will play my mother at various stages of life ranging from 13 years old to the afterlife while bringing aspects of their own experiences and narratives. It’s all so surreal seeing this project evolve and come to life that started as a poem that I wrote in 2011. Universal Womb in its full production is set to premiere in January 2019. Please keep in touch about the progress of this necessary work!
What are your rituals?
Many of my rituals are private and not captured on social media. I Try to view many of the activities I do as rituals. Knowing that I can find joy in even the most mundane things. Laundry, dishes, house cleaning, making our bed, these are some of my rituals. Conscious mindfulness is a part of my daily practice as well as cooking, intentional baths, relaxation, laughter, role play and receiving ideas for new products. All of these are rituals for me and done with full intentionality.
Favorite Sunday morning activity?
You can catch Toni and I sleeping in on most Sunday mornings, it’s such a gift to wake up smiling at each other everyday! Sometimes we’ll even splurge and eat breakfast in bed while watching movies on the iPad. Yup. That’s a perfect Sunday.
