Women With Trees

I know you had some last minute jitters before meeting me foRe our shoot.
Tell me about what you were feeling and how you ended up deciding to participate.

I didn’t have any issues being naked amongst the trees because much of my spiritual workings requires me to. But this work is solitary and I am amongst the trees without judgements or fear. The trees are great listeners they don’t talk back much.

However, I did have a bit of anxiety to be apart of this project and allowing someone to photograph me in this way. I wasn’t happy with my body,  it wasn’t perfect enough, it was fully flawed , stretch marks, cellulite and my breasts hang low, and I still carry a big of smoke in my belly. And I also hid a lot of shame and pain in my body, the extra weight I gained to protect myself from being seen as beautiful and desirable. Shame on me for having these curves, shame on me for having an abundance of thighs,  shame on me for these hips of mine and how they sway, and shame on me for having a large buttocks. I struggled with this for moons. The day of the shoot I had a private ritual no one knew about,  it was a ritual brewing within the cauldron of my soul.

It was me reclaiming what was rightfully mine:

My own body.

When we got to the location, you told me about a night that you spent there performing a ritual about your father. First, talk to me about ritual. What does it mean to you? Where do you derive some of your spiritual practices from? And lastly, what was the ritual about?

Ritual to me is a sacred ceremony one performs to create positive change in their lives. My spiritual practices are a fusion of my two lineages:  African spirituality and Native American shamanism

I performed a special ritual in those woods to thank my father for his religion but to also return it to him. This was powerful medicine for me. Being born Muslim, born of all of the conditioning beliefs of my role as woman,  and how my body wasn’t even mine, but belonged to a man I would marry. These male dominated ideas and deities no longer served who I was ever becoming. It kept me shrinking in man made cages. It was time I freed myself from this spell. In those woods under a full moon in Scorpio, I decided to bury those old programs. I had a little funeral of who I used to be and mourned her properly. I gave the earth an offering and when I was complete, a million cicada bugs sung for me. It was the confirmation I needed that my offering was accepted, and it was now ok for me to be as I am ...... free wild woman

And that night I accepted the divine feminine into my life. I made a special vow to the Goddess that lives within me. She’s always been there but sleeping. I woke her up.

You removed your septum ring from your nose recently, Talk to me about what made you decide to take it out?

I’m ritually adorned. I have two tattoos on my cheeks that represent the Goddess and her blessings unto me. Both of my nostrils are pierced and it celebrates my Fulani roots, but recently I released the septum piercing because I felt it was too masculine for me. In many tribes the septum piercing  is usually worn by male warriors or by the wife of such warrior, almost like a wedding ring,  linking and binding you to each other. However the meaning varies from tribe to tribe, and most folks wear it for beauty, trend  or status.

I looked into the way bulls are made to yield, submit, to be controlled by their owner or man, they are pierced in the septum, and are pulled and yanked from it whenever they are a bit too wild.

For me it was symbolic.

And I was done with giving my power away. So I buried it – in that same wood and in that same spot I was photographed.

How did it feel to be naked in nature?

It felt deliciously liberating to be naked in nature, very natural and medicinal. I felt merged with the trees , as if I was an extension of them and the little creek was also a part of me, like the blood flowing in my veins. The birds, bugs and all crawlers... in that moment I didn’t feel separate. I felt a part of the whole universe and it was magic. I also felt the most beautiful and loved by all things unseen.

Favorite Sunday morning ritual?

This is the day I clean my altars. I burn sage and palo santo in the house. I offer prayers to my ancestors and myself , and I wildly gather plant medicine in the woods.

Sun days

Are very ceremonial for me

I’m usually quiet and in listening mode to all the wonderful spirits around us and I dance for them around the house naked.